


The Fight I Fought Inside My Head

by romeoandjulietyouwish



Series: Lis Writes Vox Machina [8]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, there are not enough scanlan and kiki fics just saying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:48:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28800084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/romeoandjulietyouwish/pseuds/romeoandjulietyouwish
Summary: Scanlan helps Keyleth through a panic attack.
Relationships: Keyleth & Scanlan Shorthalt
Series: Lis Writes Vox Machina [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2026871
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40





	The Fight I Fought Inside My Head

Scanlan’s well aware of Keyleth’s naivete, it’s hard to miss. There are often times where she doesn’t understand the situation that they’re in and someone, usually Vax, explains it to her. She seems to understand it after that. Scanlan knows that Keyleth has been severely sheltered and that she hasn’t had the same life experience that he or any of the others have had. He also knows that Keyleth gets ridiculously nervous when talking to any authority figure, which is just perfect for the mission they’re on. 

The party is split with Vax, Vex, and Percy headed to Whitestone, Grog and Pike to Vasselheim, and Scanlan and Keyleth to Emon. Their job is to meet with the council on behalf of Grog’s herd and convince them to establish something or other to make their travel easier. Scanlan couldn’t care less about the situation, but it’s important to his friends so he finds it in himself to care. Tomorrow morning he and Keyleth are meeting with the Tal'dorei Council. Talking in front of people, even the rulers of their country just feels like another afternoon to him. He knows that he can talk his way out of pretty much any situation. 

Keyleth on the other hand, can’t. 

After a hearty meal and drink in the tavern below the inn, Scanlan makes his way to the room they’re sharing. According to Vex the party is too low on funds to shill out some more money so they can have separate rooms. But Scanlan finds that he really doesn’t care, he’ll probably annoy Keyleth more than she’ll annoy him. 

When he walks in he finds her mumbling as she reads a piece of parchment clutched tight in her hand. Scanlan just ignores her, he’s had weirder roommates, and jumps up onto his bed, pulling out his flute. He starts to play softly, closing his eyes. 

“Scanlan?” Keyleth asks after a moment. He opens his eyes to find the half-elf looking right at him, her brow creased. “Could you please stop? I’m trying to practice.”

Scanlan scoffs, resting his flute in his lap, “Practice what?” 

“What I’m going to say in front of the council tomorrow.” Keyleth doesn’t look over at him, keeping her eyes fixed on the parchment.

He frowns at her, “What do you have to practice? I’m doing all of the talking.” 

“No, you’re not,” Keyleth says, clearly frustrated. She looks over at him. “Percy asked me to come with you for a reason, I intend to talk at the meeting. If I’m going to lead my people, I need to learn to handle talking in front of rulers.” 

Scanlan sighs and leans back against the headboard, “If you say so.” He sets his flute beside him and closes his eyes once more, intending to get some sleep. 

But sleep doesn’t come. Keyleth talks under her breath for what feels like hours, repeating the same things over and over until Scanlan’s pretty sure he’s had it memorized. But she keeps repeating it as her breathing gets harder and more erratic. 

Some fatherly instinct tugs in his gut as he hears her start to hyperventilate. He opens his eyes and sees Keyleth hunched over on herself, her paper crumpled in her hand. Her eyes are wide and fearful and one hand rests over her heart. 

“Keyleth?” Scanlan asks gently. He’s never seen the druid like this before. 

“Scanlan,” she gasps, her eyes darting to him as she sees him sit up. “I-I can’t breathe.” 

The gnome immediately gets up and crosses to Keyleth’s bed, climbing up on it with her. She looks down at him, her panic is clearly written in her eyes. A soft whimper escapes her as she tries to get a hold of her breathing. For a split second, he doesn’t know what to do, anyone would be better at calming her down than him, literally anyone. But his paternal instinct screams at him to help her. 

So he does the only thing he can think of. He sings. 

The song he sings isn’t one that you would hear in a tavern or at a concert hall, it’s the kind of song a parent sings to a child, frightened of the dark. The words are in Gnomish, speaking of comfort and warmth. Keyleth still a little as he sings, her hand going slack on the parchment.

He takes her hand and presses it against his chest so she can feel the vibrations as he sings and the deep breaths he takes as he inhales. He does it without thinking and almost stops singing when he realizes what he just did. It’s something his mother did for him as a child.

He did the same thing to Kaylie when she awoke with a scream, her knife swinging wildly. 

He repeats the song watching Keyleth the whole time as she starts to breathe again, the tears in her eyes slowly disappearing. Scanlan repeats it once more and until he’s sure that Keyleth seems to be okay. She slowly pulls her hand back from his chest, exhaustion reading clear across her face. 

“You alright, Keek?” He asks softly.

She takes a long breath, worrying her lip. “I don’t think I can do it tomorrow. I don’t think I can speak in front of the council. I’m too scared.” 

He nods in understanding. “I know that it’s probably the most terrifying thing in the world to think about, but let me tell you something.” He waits until she looks him in the eyes before continuing. “When you get up in front of the council tomorrow, your body will be pumping you with all the chemicals you need to stay calm and alert. You’re not getting any of that right now because you’re safe and alone. It will be easier tomorrow.” When Keyleth seems unsure, he tacks on, “You should at least try, okay? And if you can’t, I’ll be right by your side with all this charisma.” He gives his shoulders a little shimmy to make her laugh. “Sound’s good?” 

She thinks it over for a second and then nods. “Okay,” she says softly. He starts to climb off her bed, but she interrupts him. “Scanlan? Can I have a hug?” 

The gnome sighs but opens his arms. All of a sudden, Keyleth scoops him into her arms and hugs him tight. “Thank you,” she whispers to him. “That was a beautiful song.” 

“Yeah, well,” Scanlan runs a hand through his hair as he pulls out of the hug, “it was one my mother sang to me.” Something changes in Keyleth’s face as she realizes how significant the song was. Before she can say anything, Scanland climbs off of her bed. “Get some sleep, Keyleth. We have a big day tomorrow.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, the advice Scanlan gives Keyleth is something my friend and I have talked about a lot :)
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated and make me sooooo happy!
> 
> Tumblr- @romeoandjulietyouwish


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